"I'm not kidding," Said god, "If you guys eat fruit from that tree, I'll fucking kill you."

And so, time passed. Lilith and Samael mourned the death of their son, and eventually, they came up with a plan.

"They do not know the pain they cause, and they feel no shame in it. They can feel no remorse." Said Lilith.

Samael and Lilith understood one another. Now, because this story happened a very long time ago, it is difficult to imagine how it may have been. However, at this time, the serpent walked about on legs. The serpent had spoken to Samael, and the serpent agreed that the man and woman in the garden had done wrong. In turn, he agreed to aid Samael.¹

Eve happened to be walking in the forest when she heard footsteps beside her. But she could not see through the foliage, and asked, without fear, who was there.

"Who follows me?" Said Eve.

But the serpent did not reply, instead, he led her further and further into the garden, so that she had reached the center, which was dense, and darker on account of the many leaves that blocked the sun. In the shade of a tree, she sat. Finally, the serpent revealed himself to her.

"It is a fine garden you have," Said the serpent.
"It is a paradise," Agreed Eve.
"And it is all yours...?" Asked the serpent.
"Every animal and flower, every beautiful insect, every fish in the river, every drop of water... it is mine," Agreed Eve.
"Oh, then he must have been mistaken..." Said the serpent.
"Who must have been mistaken," Asked Eve.
"Nevermind now. I was told, falsely, I suppose, that all this garden was indeed yours... except for one tree, one fruit which has been denied you." Said the serpent. "But surely this cannot be. I will have to tell him he was mistaken."
"Who?" Asked Eve.
"Nevermind, nevermind. He is a liar or a fool." Replied the serpent.
"Well.." Said Eve. "There is one," She looked up then, and saw where she was. The serpent watched her closely. "There is one such fruit we are forbidden to so much as touch, or we shall surely die." Said Eve.
"A poisonous fruit?" Said the serpent.
"No... no," Said Eve. "Not poisonous, simply forbidden on pain of death."
"I see. And why, pray tell us, is this fruit forbidden?"
"It comes from this tree." Replied Eve, looking up. Above her, in the tree grew many red and shining apples.

The serpent reached up, and pulled an apple from the limb of the tree.

"This fruit?" He asked her, examining the apple.
"Yes, that is the fruit." Said Eve.
"I think you have been forbidden this fruit because it is the fruit of knowledge," Said the snake.
"Yes, that's right." Said Eve. "We are forbidden to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge."
"But why? Is god afraid you shall know as much as he? Is that why he has forbidden you to try this fruit?" The snake turned the apple in his hand, and smelled it. It smelled much the way autumn smells, like fallen leaves, and spices, and most of all, apple. So perhaps you can imagine how tempted Eve was simply to try it, for its own sake.

"Perhaps... perhaps that is why he has forbidden us to eat it," Said Eve, watching as the snake turned the apple, and stretched it out to her. She reached, but he snatched it back.
"Oh, I have forgotten. Surely you should die if you were to so much as touch... it." Said the serpent.

"I can't imagine why," Said Eve. "Unless what you say is true, that god should want us to remain ignorant of his knowledge."
"Perhaps." Said the serpent, and he tossed the apple up.. up, and as it began to fall, Eve reached out, and grasped it in her hand. As she touched it, she paused. There was something... something she had forgotten, but nevermind now.

She pulled the apple to her lips and bit into it, tasting the cool crispness, the subtle spice, and the juice on her tongue. The serpent smiled.²

Eve, being a part of Adam, shared with him the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and when they had eaten the apple, they both felt shame.³

After Adam and Eve felt shame, god walked through the garden, and called out to them, but they hid. He found them, of course, and asked them,

"Why are you hiding?"
"...we're naked. We didn't want anyone to see."
"Riiiight... You ate fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, didn't you?" Said god.
"Oh shit, I knew I forgot the last ..." Said Eve, but Adam shoved her so that she'd stop talking.

God was pretty pissed, but he didn't kill Adam and Eve. Instead, he said to the serpent,

"You, who were king of all beasts, and walked high, and spoke with humans, shall forever more be cursed. You will be lower than all the beasts, and crawl upon the earth all the days of your life. You shall be enemies with the woman forever more."

To Eve, he said,

"When you bear the child in your womb, you shall suffer pain. Forevermore, when you bear children, you shall suffer."

To Adam, he said,

"Because you ate the fucking fruit, you dumb shit, the earth is cursed because of you. You're going to have to work your ass off to get any food, and you're going to bore the pants off of all your stupid little grandkids when you tell them how you had to walk to school in five feet of snow. Life's not gonna be paradise anymore."

God kicked Adam and Eve out of Eden.

"They are like us now, with their knowledge of good and evil. They cannot be allowed to eat the fruit from the tree of life." He set the cherubim to stand guard with a sword of flame in front of Eden so that humans could not enter and eat from the tree of life and live forever.

1. It is difficult to say, as the facts regarding this story are extremely fuzzy -- some stories say that Lilith herself was the snake, others disagree and say that the serpent was actually Samael, (because the serpent is certainly male), but it seems more likely that the serpent was an agent unto himself, which is why I have chosen that version of the story to include here.
2. It has been suggested that the serpent had "relations" with Eve at this time, but there is no concrete evidence of this. It has also been suggested that Eve's first son, Cain, was the fruit of this encounter.
3. In every recording of this story I have come across, Adam and Eve feel shame in their "nakedness" and seek to cover themselves with leaves. This makes some sense, but one wonders where the shame in nakedness comes from, especially if god does not find it shameful. This seems to be a later interpretation of the story. But, if not nakedness, why would Adam and Eve feel shame? It's plausible that they feel shame because of their previous actions, which have not been widely addressed or publicised. The killing and eating of Samael's son would certainly be a cause of shame. Additionally, there is far more motive for Samael and Lilith to tempt Eve with the knowledge of good and evil in this context. My mom totally disagrees, and maybe this is completely bunk -- were you there to say one way or another? -- and maybe it isn't, but it certainly is interesting.